Not Adding You

Dear Apartment Complex,

Thank you for letting me pay you to live here, and for your offer of "free maintenance".

However, I would appreciate having the broken window fixed (it's been 5 days now).

Also, could we do something about the creepy crawly bugs (centipedes?) coming in every windowsill, doorway, and drain? And while you're at it, the mud dauber nest I asked you to remove a week ago is still there.

Furthermore, I would appreciate it if the sprinklers could be off in ONE grassy area when I take the dog out (really, all we need is one dry square foot of grass--we're not picky here).

When you have accomplished these things, I will gladly "add" you on Facebook. For now, we're not friends. Thanks for asking, though.

Sincerely,
Shannah