Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Lubbock in the Rearview Mirror

I went back to Lubbock this weekend, to visit some more "bests."***

When I lived in Lubbock, it didn't seem so bad. It was even good, a lot of the time. There's the big sky, and the university, and the history, and the way that it's kind of "small town" even though more than 200,000 people live there. And it is a good place.

I was so happy to see my best man-friend (what to call him?) and spend several days just chatting and eating (oh the eating!) and enjoying time together. I used to see him every day, and I still talk to him often, and I miss him.

I loved having a veggie burger with some other friends, and laughing and talking and spending way too long in Fudruckers. I miss them, too.

I worshiped with older friends at my old church, and was glad to see what has changed and what has stayed the same, and to hug the people who really taught me to love knitting, and to love knitting for others, my old Prayer Shawl Ministry group.

And yet, I was glad to drive away back toward what is now home knowing that I wasn't going to have to be at work at 7am to file Medical Records, and that I wasn't going to have days that were completely brown with dirt, and there were not nights stretched ahead that smelled like a feed lot, and that I didn't have to stay under that giant sky and think about my life and what went wrong. It can be a bit oppressive, all that openness (and it tends to make me a bit melodramatic).

I hate putting things down, especially places that mean so much to some people. And I do not mean to put this place down. Lubbock has meant a lot to me. I learned so much there -- more than just Old English and Fundamentals of Archaelogy and Calculus -- I grew up there. I learned my limits and found some boundaries I'd set were far too close. I am proud of this place that taught me so much. But, still, I was glad to see "Lubbock in the rearview mirror" as I headed back toward my current home.

Not sure why this affected me now, so many months after leaving, and I will be back in Lubbock soon (for a certain little someone's first birthday), but I found myself simultaneously glad to be leaving and yet, a little proud of this place that has been a stop on so many people's journeys.

And to my Lubbock Friends: I love you all. Thank you for your hospitality and your joy. I was so glad to see you.

***I hope it doesn't cheapen it for you, me calling all these people my "best friend," but it's so true. I have been incredibly lucky and blessed, these past few years, to have such wonderful friends. I have a handful of really close, really wonderful people that I use to buffer the world. :-) Thanks, guys.


1 comment:

Abby said...

I hear you, Lubbock can be great when you are supposed to be here but it's also nice to leave when it's time to go. In other words it's a good rest stop.